i called it off

today is the day. the day when my other journey supposed to begin. yeah, you read it right; supposed.

i had a mixed feeling since few days ago whether to go or not. everything has already been booked and i just need to bring my belongings. but i guess now is not the right time.

why? i don't know my exact reason to postpone this trip (i typed postpone because hopefully i will visit them, someday. maybe not in the near future, but, someday i will). what i can think of now is i need to spend more time with my family. i need to be close with my family. i need to be home. maybe it sounds cheesy, but that's what i feel. another reason maybe because of the countries i will visit. at this moment, i just feel it's not the right time to visit them.

at 1 pm today, my mom --who helped me pack things up; we laughed when we have to unpack then pack the bags again so i don't have any difficulties when i walk around- convinced me to go (but later she told me that she'd be happy if i choose to stay). after i was convinced that everything will be okay (i made several changes to my itinerary including making last minute bookings so i feel more safe), i went to blok m with my brother to take damri to the airport. around 4 pm i arrived at terminal 3. but i still had those mixed feelings. i texted my brother to discuss what i have to do. then my mom called and my tears started to fall down... after talking with mom, i decided to call the journey off and went home instead.

and now, i'm sitting in damri to blok m with a smile on my face. guess i made the right call, huh?

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